Skip to content
FacebookTwitterLinkedIn
  • Member Login
  • ACCESSIBILITY
  • COVID-19 Resources
Violence Free Colorado Logo

National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-SAFE (7233)

Escape

Quickly Exit the Site if in Danger
ADVERTENSIA
  • Home
  • Who We Are
    • Mission. Vision. Values.
    • Our New Name
    • Annual Impact Report
    • Board and Staff
    • Violence Free Colorado Membership
      • Benefits and Information
      • Membership Applications
    • Digital Accessibility
  • What We Do
    • Public Policy
      • Civic Engagement
    • Training and Community Education
      • Request a Training
      • Available Presentations
      • Online Learning Center
      • Annual Conference
    • Technical Assistance
      • Request Technical Assistance
    • Housing & Economic Justice
    • Stand Up Colorado
    • Special Projects
      • Domestic Violence and Pets
      • Rural Projects
      • Trauma-Informed Care
      • DV/CPS Practice Guide
  • Resources
    • Newsletter
    • Publications
    • Announcements
    • Building Awareness
      • DVAM 2017- Archive
        • DVAM 2017 Social Media Calendar
      • DVAM 2016- Archive
      • DVAM 2015- Archive
      • DVAM 2014- Archive
        • At Home Film Screening- 2014
    • Media Literacy
  • Find Help
    • Find Help Near You
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • Health & Domestic Violence
      • Medical Reporting Options for Survivors
    • Teen Dating Violence
    • How to Help Someone You Know
    • How to Help Someone Who is Abusive
    • Staying Safe
  • Get Involved
    • Ways To Give
    • Event Calendar
      • Submit an Event
    • DV Awareness Month
      • Plan a Community Film Screening
    • Jobs Board
    • Annual Awards
  • Contact
    • Media
  • Español
    • Salud y Violencia Intrafamiliar
    • Encontrar Ayuda
      • Violencia en adolescentes durante el noviazgo
      • Ayude a la persona abusada
      • Ayuda al abusador
      • Manteniendo se seguro
    • Quines Somos
      • El Programa Promotora – Abuso Doméstico
      • Su Coalición en acción
      • DONE AHORA
    • Recursos para ayudantes
  • Home
  • Who We Are
    • Mission. Vision. Values.
    • Your Coalition at Work
    • Newsletter
    • Annual Impact Report
    • Board and Staff past page
    • Violence Free Colorado Membership
      • Benefits and Information
      • Membership Applications
  • What We Do
    • Public Policy (former page)
      • Participate
      • Public Policy Priorities
      • Public Policy Archives
    • Training and Community Education
      • Upcoming Trainings
      • Request a Training
      • Available Presentations
      • Online Learning Center
      • Annual Conference
    • Technical Assistance
      • Request Technical Assistance
    • Special Projects
      • Trauma-Informed Care
      • Rural Projects
      • DV/CPS Practice Guide
  • Resources
    • Announcements
    • Blog
    • Publications
    • Event Calendar
    • Building Awareness
    • Media
  • Find Help
    • Find Help Near You
    • Teen Dating Violence
    • How to Help Someone You Know
    • How to Help Someone Who is Abusive
    • Staying Safe
    • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Get Involved
    • Volunteer
    • DV Awareness Month
    • Donate
    • Jobs Board
  • Contact
  • Español
    • Encontrar Ayuda
    • Violence Free Colorado Misión, Visión y Historia
    • Recursos para ayudantes
      • Manteniendo Se Seguro
      • Aprender acerca de la violencia doméstica
      • Ayude a la persona abusada
      • Ayuda al abusador
      • Citas de Adolescentes Violencia
      • Publicaciones
      • Para los medios de comunicación
      • Programa de Alcance Latin@
      • Voluntarios para ayuda
  • ESCAPE
  • ACCESSIBILITY

How to Help Someone You Know

How can I help a loved one who is being abused?

It can be very difficult to witness a loved one being abused by their partner. You may feel unsure how to support them or worried that your actions could make the situation worse. These are completely understandable – and valid – reactions. Domestic violence can indeed be dangerous, and any action or decision should be led by the survivor (your loved one). Please consider reaching out to a local domestic violence agency in Colorado or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) to speak with an advocate about how to start a conversation with your loved one. Every survivor’s situation is unique, and chatting with an advocate can be really helpful. 

Additionally, consider the following tips: 

-Any conversation you have with your loved one should be outside the presence of their partner/others.

-You might consider letting this person know that you are worried about them or concerned for their safety. Ask if they would like to talk, and if they would be open to you sharing some of what you’ve noticed about their partner’s actions. Respect their boundaries if they aren’t ready to talk, but let them know you are available if they change their mind.

-Be supportive. Listen to your friend or family member. Remember that it may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know that you are available to help when they may need it. What they need most is someone who will believe and listen to them.

-Acknowledge that they are in a very difficult and scary situation. Let your friend or family member know that the abuse is not their fault. Reassure them that they are not alone and that there is help and support out there.

-Follow their pace. Don’t push them to talk about something they don’t want to, tell them what they “have to” do, or give them an ultimatum.

-Be non-judgmental. Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims/survivors stay in abusive relationships. They may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize their decisions or try to guilt them. They will need your support even more during those times.

-Remember that you cannot “rescue” them. Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately any action or decision taken should be led by your loved one. It’s important for you to support them and help them find a way to safety and peace in their own time.

-If they are open to your help, help them to develop a safety plan. Contact a local domestic violence program for more information on how to safety plan with your friend.

-Tell your friend that they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.

-Encourage them to participate in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family, or other things they enjoy doing, if it is safe for them to do so.

-If they end the relationship, continue to be supportive of them. Even though the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and lonely once it is over. They will need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will especially need your support at that time.

-Encourage them to talk to people who can provide help and guidance. Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Offer to go with them to talk to family and friends. If they have to go to the police, court or a lawyer, offer to go along for moral support.

-Take care of yourself. Witnessing the pain of someone you care about can take its toll, and you may even experience vicarious trauma. Seek the help and support that you need, while still respecting your friend’s privacy and confidentiality.

MAKE A DONATION

Donate Now!

SAFETY ALERT

If you are in a crisis or need immediate help, dial 911 or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or TTY (800) 787−3224

RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • CAIA Scholarships for DVP-Funded Organizations!
  • CAIA 2022 Keynote Speaker
  • Recursos para ayudantes de víctimas/sobrevivientes
  • We’re Hiring!
  • DZIRAE GOLD Music Video Release Show

Contact Us

1330 Fox Street, Suite 3
P.O. Box 40328
Denver, CO 80204

Phone: (303) 831-9632
Email: info@nullviolencefreeco.org

EIN: 84-0742604

DISCLAIMER

The purpose of this website is to provide education and resources on issues of domestic violence; we make every effort to keep the most current information available on this site but do not warrant the accuracy or usability of this information. If you have questions about specific content, please contact us at info@nullviolencefreeco.org.

QUICK LINKS

  • ESCAPE
  • Find Help
  • Building Awareness
  • Event Calendar
  • Contact
  • Privacy Statement
  • Member Login

MAKE A DONATION

Donate Now!
Copyright Violence Free Colorado | All Rights Reserved | Staff Login
FacebookTwitterLinkedIn
Page load link